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WARNING: There is a large possibility that I might be having a mental breakdown of feels. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding of this.
Eccleston made me want to see the universe. David gave me the hope that I could. Matt took me by the heart and swung me into it head-first with a bowl of fish fingers, custard, and an unstoppable love that I never knew before.
Eccleston made me want to see the universe. David gave me the hope that I could. Matt took me by the heart and swung me into it head-first with a bowl of fish fingers, custard, and an unstoppable love that I never knew before.
I cannot begin to fathom the roller coaster I've been on with Matt Smith. Eleven is my Doctor, he has been since he first stepped foot into the TARDIS. The way he clumsily wibbly-wobbled his way into my heart never ceases to astound me, and I am thankful for every moment. Matt Smith, I am almost completely positive, is going to stick with me forevermore. In ways I cannot fit words around, he saved me. Every moment, every thought, every tear, every pain, he was there for me. I can never thank him for all he's done, all he never knew or will ever know he did for me. Which is why him leaving back in Christmas of 2013 crushed me the way it did, the way it does. I don't think that I'll ever truly get over the heartbreak of him moving on, nor do I particularly want to. In a weird way, my grieving him is my way of hanging onto him, keeping him close and alive. My heart, while the levels may vary, will always cry out for my Eleven, my doctor, and long for him to return to fill the gaping hole inside.
And while I'll never again be filled with that same zeal Matt Smith stuffed my heart silly with, I think that after long last I am finally ready...to say goodbye. I am at an utter loss for words to describe the pain in my soul, in my very existence, that taunts me as I type this. But I think I've been a bit irrational about the subject of my beloved's successor, despite my heartache. In my grief, I was blinded. I was quick to judge someone who I had absolutely no knowledge of; all I could see was my pain, so I blamed it on him. On Peter Capaldi. And I apologize for that.
I know in my heart that I'll never quite see Peter Capaldi as the man at least some part of me is sure he is, but C'est la vie. However, I now realize that I do not hate him, in any way, be it as a person, Matt's replacement, the Doctor, or otherwise. I offer him a great deal of respect, in any case. No, he's not my Matt Smith, not my Eleven, not my Doctor. But they wouldn't have cast him if he wasn't The Doctor. And anyone who's good enough to be The Doctor is alright with me.
Happy Late Vore Day and also Life Update
Yesterday was vore day. Woo. Also, I haven't updated you few dA friends on myself and life in a while, so I thought I'd do that. Ye.
I graduated and got a job. It's pretty good. Alex and I have plans for a long-term relationship. I had lunch with my real dad and brother. Life is good.
But in other news...
I think it's safe to say that I'm never going to fully "return" to DeviantArt in the way that I used to, when I first joined. I'm not the same person I was. Unfortunately, I can't create things like I used to or commit my time to this place like I did before. And I'm sorry for that, if you were one of the like, two people who wanted me to
Lock The Doors And Close The Blinds
I'm going for a ride...
So, I graduated. What the hell do I do now? Guess I'll find out.
Um, I bought a laptop and started going on walks. Not every day, but still. Actually, that's not the right order. Started going on walks, then bought a laptop. All Star just started playing on my Spotify. Today's just a roller coaster for my emotions, isn't? I felt really healthy this morning when I went for a walk. I met a cat. I've met a lot of cats since I've started walking, which I suppose is a pretty good incentive to get me to go on more walks. I probably will. It's Eye of The Tiger now. I'm seeing that video of Jensen lip-syncing this song in my
Thinking About Moving Accounts...
My whole page is just so cringey, and I no longer relate to this username. Kinda just want to start over on a new one...should I?
EDIT: It's happening. I'm 99% sure I'a moving accounts. My new username is gonna be RockTheCashBall
EDIT 2: Nevermind, that's lot of work. I'm just gonna wait until the next dA card project and then change my username. For now I'll just change my icon.
I'm Off To See The Wizard...
...ing World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. I found out yesterday afternoon and will be leaving for the plane shortly. I'll only be at the park for two days, but those days are Monday and Tuesday which means I get to miss school.
Yass!
This week is the week of my (first ever!!) play, and I'm going to be missing rehearsals, but it'all be fine. I literally have the two smallest parts anyways, so it doesn't really matter.
I'm very excited.
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Comments10
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I felt the same when Ten regenerated too ("I don't want to go") TT^TT but Matt Smith was a goofy Doctor and was adorable. Twelve is okay I guess but he isn't as good as Nine, Ten and Eleven (They are my favorite little trio >w<)